Disaster Befalls MLR as Everyone Agrees on Where to Eat Lunch

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Phoenix, AZ – Breaking news from the 9th Messianic Leadership Roundtable, as disaster has come upon the annual Rabbi’s conference in Phoenix. Early yesterday afternoon the Earth shook as every single attendee of MLR agreed on where to have lunch, without so much as one complaint or argument. What would normally be a four hour discussion, followed by everyone going their separate ways, became the first ever unanimous decision in the history of Messianic Judaism. For an agreeance to be related to food was even more out of the ordinary.

It was Rabbi Jacob Rosenberg, of the Chicago Rosenbergs, who pointed out that there was a brand new location of the ever popular Lou Malnati’s Chicago style deep dish pizza that had recently opened in Phoenix, and suggested that lunch be held there. The motion was seconded by Ari Hauben of Chosen People Ministries and thirded by Jonathan Bernis, himself, who mentioned that Yeshualand Arizona had not yet opened, so they may as well eat in a restaurant. The suggestion was met with not a single nay, especially after it was brought up that Lou Malnati’s offers poultry sausage as a topping ingredient, and when else are biblically Kosher keeping Jews able to eat sausage pizza?

Sadly, Lou Malnati’s was not able to accommodate a walk-in party of 350 people, which was met with the usual hangry groans and complaints as everyone now had to go back to square one and choose somewhere else to have lunch. This is, unfortunately the second time this week the MLR attendees had to deal with tragedy, the first being the cancelation of Rabbi Eric Tokajer’s flight to Phoenix, and his ultimately missing the entire conference. Thankfully there will be another chance to come together for next year’s MLR, and as they say, L’shana haba’ah b’Kenya.

 

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